*Flashback Post*-November 3rd, 2013

I remember those days,

Timeless moments nothing could intercept,

Living for each moment, not thinking we had much time left,

Hours ran into days, ran into months into pains,

 

I remember those days,

Each day awoken with a smile,

Loving each second, each embrace,

Tethered by our souls, moving by grace,

 

I remember those days,

Time flew around us, yet our gaze stood still,

Time flew around us, but our traces lingered on each others skin,

Careless spirits, moving us through,

 

I remember those days,

Nothing ever mattered, nothing was our everything,

Talks that extended past wee hours,

No interests in seeing anything but each other

 

I remember those days,

Shamelessly submissive to your every word,

Fed from your words and your releases,

Full from all you embody and all you do,

 

I remember those days,

Falling into your arms was the single point I looked forward to in my days

Even just in candle light you seemed so great,

Naked and bare I still saw you as Adonis type gold

My every fibre focused on willing your eyes to just me

 

I remember those days,

If my tears would fall, so would yours too,

I’d be felt and heard and made to feel silly because you were there,

We were one being of burning heat and hope and love

We were open, our basic selves, feeding each others strengths

 

I remember those days,

Fingers tracing lightly on skin,

Tip toeing, stealing kisses, sneaking in,

Soft touches calls flutters in,

a glow and a constant happiness;grins

 

I remember those days

I ain’t felt that way in years.

*Flashback post*-Dec. 29th 2013

It is what’s in your soul that will be the only thing that will carry you through,

When faced with adversity, when your pureness has been compromised,

Fly, fly on…..just keep swimming, it’s not the end,

 

When you gave of yourself and received naught,

It is not the end for you, your kindness has not met defeat,

It has instead met tests for a stronger self, don’t forget.

 

Fly, carry on as you are,

Don’t change when met with grunge, debris and a witless heart,

You have done no ill in being kind, extending a hand and trying to change the times,

Never change because you’re hurt, be yourself someone will see your worth.

 

Never beat yourself up. Never expect a beast to give you a rose.

You introduced your naked soul and were rebuffed.

Life goes on, no matter how tough.

 

When the dust settles it will be clear,

You made a clearing in a dark place,

You loved the unloved.

…..in silence….

I can be a very quiet and reserved person, so conversations pass me by a lot. I’m the type of person that will let you paint me with your words and thoughts and not offer a peep. I have a smiling face and eyebrows raised ready to listen and my answer is usually told by my facial expression.  I often create classifications in my mind where I group people and hardly ever do I have someone surprise me. Which led me to think, do people self-reflect? Are they connecting with themselves. Do the things you do to others, something you would want done to you? Have you ever heard someone say, ‘do you listen to yourself?’, because, do you? I find that a lot of people speak only because they are able to, not because they have something substantial to say. The last word is theirs; always. One of my favorite things is to eavesdrop; not intentionally but as I find myself in different places I am listening all around. I used to do this thing where I was ‘in silence’ and I would hardly talk all day and just observe and listen to the world. Letting things fall in place and most importantly watch my impact on others. It’s worthy to ponder on things sometimes…let your mind run away with you…

When eczema attacks….

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I don’t have much experience with eczema and I hate it. I hate it with a passion. I first saw these cluster on bumps on my sons’ side on Jan. 11th when we woke up to go to about our day. I used an oatmeal rub on him the same evening and started making sure his skin was well moisturized. They would not go away, they actually started spreading. Then I felt the same small bumps on his thighs and arms. I was at a loss. I am skin obsessed! It’s the first thing I notice on people and it’s the number 1 thing I work on every day. I decided to give in and took him to a walk-in clinic. The doctor said oh it’s just eczema and gave me a prescription for something a little stronger than the usual. Something with steroids. ‘Just Eczema?!’ I thought. I’ve seen the horrors of eczema. I’ve seen how the skin get leathery and how horrible the itching is. I had horrible itching all over my legs and back while pregnant and wouldn’t want my baby dealing with that. I did not fill that prescription. I actually didn’t do much right away. I had to do some research. I walked into my favorite health store and the clerk suggested Grahams, she used it on her son and had seen results. She also recommended that we change his diet ASAP. So we did, bye homo milk, bye bananas, bye yogurt and later on we said goodbye to peanut butter!! I still can’t put my finger on his trigger but we have only re-introduced yogurt and he’s img_20170203_072927_020been doing well. The Grahams fought hard against the eczema and thank goodness there wasn’t much itching but it wasn’t clearing it away. It did a good at moisturizing the bumps and ‘deflating’ them but I need them gone. We were steadfast, I did more research and the wonders of colloidal silver was being touted from a couple of moms. I bought a bottle and within a week mixed with the Grahams, baby is on his way to wellness! I couldn’t be happier.  I even drank some two days to see if I would feel anything! We had always maintained using my homemade body butter on him, so once our mix dried on him we rubbed over it with the butter. This butter contains shea butter, beeswax, coconut oil, almond oil, jojoba oil and castor oil. I haven’t had a chance to take an updated picture but I’m happy so far. I can’t wait to stick him in the sun when Summer hits! Sigh…..but for now, Go away eczema!

Please let me know what has worked for you!

Say it… Say it… Say it…

img_20170126_074059_277Have you ever heard someone say how they love their kid and can almost feel what they mean? It always causes you to reflect on how much you definitely know what they mean. Others would hear this and probably think, ‘Duh’ and probably roll their eyes. Here’s the thing though, loving your kids isn’t an automatic reaction. When someone freely says this out loud, there is a level of pride and attention that comes with that. They’re telling you they live for their baby (s) and not just tolerate them. They actually like their kids and is so grateful for the opportunity to be their parent. A lot of parents don’t tell their children they love them, much less to say this to someone else. I believe once you have become a parent or have had to bestow compassion on an innocent child then you would get the message. Their innocence is all they are. A blank slate. So, it’s basically loving them through it all, tempers and tears, sweetness and fears, embarrassments and proud moments. Loving your kid should be more than providing; but it isn’t.  I almost feel like some parents withhold displaying this affection because they don’t want the child to think ‘they got them’. Let’s be honest and agree that kids hold us by the fear. This is where we start to grow up with a lot of issues. Realistically, If we allow children to run with our fears, we would be down trodden and left bare. I believe you should show them it and your hurt when they abuse it. Let them develop a conscience; this is what balances love. We should still watch our harshness, as this isn’t their fault. *follow me camera*…. I learned from watching my son that many skills take time to develop. There are a lot of things for them to learn and if they haven’t experienced anything much, they can’t show it. In some adults you see this as well, shows them a little tenderness and once they acknowledge it they’re changed. It’s the same with kids, love them either way. Buy them some time with being gracious and sometimes entertained. It is as simple as teaching a child to share their cookie every single time they have one. Every time they have a cookie, they may not, but the expectation to share will be there. There are other things that can be taught in this way as well. Compassion, patience, self-lessness, humility, humbleness, being open minded and self-conscious. Love them through it all, and let them know that. Teach them to love. It was common for this to be said to me growing up and made me be aware. I once overheard my hubby telling our son your mother will make sure you’re loved and you know it. This stopped me in my tracks because I thought what an odd thing to say, but he was right. Every chance I get I let him know and though he may not know the term, he knows the meaning….forgive and give kids some time…xoxo

Green goals…

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Breakfast…

Isn’t it odd how people get judged for eating well? How much people turn up their noses at suggestions that involve earth grown or natural processes. I don’t mean vegans, they’re on their own planet masked with a level of aggression that is impenetrable. I mean how people are so timid to try things, natural things. How they pity people who only eat salads and condemn them as if they should be ashamed. To the point that healthy food is labelled ‘rabbit food’. How you can almost feel people thinking you have a complex because you put yourself on a strict healthy diet. I do it as well, I won’t lie. However I do it as an inquiry. Are you sure you’re eating enough? Is that sufficient for your body, do you have enough energy.

As I embark on an even greater natural path for myself and my family, I find myself asking these questions as well. Researching what gives me what and is enough. What shouldn’t I over do or what definitely doesn’t go together and I’m lost. However, I try and I just don’t get the hesitation or the need to degrade your own health further. I once had someone say they only eat chicken breast and I though wow good; until I realized it was in reference to Popeye’s. I can honestly say I’m not a fan of chicken breast, too meaty, but I don’t fake the funk either. I don’t get a diet coke with a huge burger and upgraded fries. I honestly try and at times I fall short, but I don’t put others down for their strength. I aspire to be a lot and do more. Pushing myself to a certain point. I hope for the new year, everyone will take an extra step to being healthier and eating better as well. How bad could that be?

Back to life….

I’ve been down a lot lately about many things. I think my hubby sensed this also which I don’t usuallyimg_20161105_121215092
like, as it’s added pressure. As such, I purposely remain mum so as to not overwhelm anyone but things have been heavy because I feel like time is catching up on us. None the less, I put on a brave face and go out there and do my best.

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Yuminess that I shared with everyone!

Today, I was sitting at work chatting it up with a co-worker about life and goals and where we want to see ourselves. In my mind I drifted back to a time when I drew and wrote poetry, randomness, everything that was going on in my life. I loved the artsy side I had and even attempted to take classes this Fall to build on that but life caught up with me. I thought about myself then and now and while somethings I am grateful has changed, some things I love that they remained the same. Mid convo I got a call for a delivery and I just couldn’t contain my smile. Here I was being in the dumps over uncontrollable things and there was so much love around me. I sat staring at my arrangement for a while because it also took me back to the early years of marriage when I would randomly get these gifts; just because. How fitting. Love remains constant and appreciation has grown leaps and bounds and I will always try to never forget that. While this affected my ability to concentrate for the rest of the day, I couldn’t help but think how perfect this was

It was the jolt I needed to focus on the positive things in my life and I am so so grateful!! I felt so girly and appreciated, so many butterflies in my stomach! I immediately I positioned myself as Ariel in the boat during Sebastian’s chorus of ‘Kiss The Girl’. Very random I know, but that’s the love I felt all over again. I just wanted to leap into my husbands arms and smack him with a big wet one! Honestly…

If a video could speak for me this would be it…percussions…strings…wind…words!….

 

 

Well played. Universe. Well played….