Sylvia….

I miss my paternal grandmother. I knew her when I was a young girl and even though she passed when I was about 12 or 13, I still very much miss her dearly. I didn’t treat her that well when she was here on earth because she was extraordinarily miserable. I mean m-i-s-e-r-a-b-l-e! I couldn’t fathom it, and used to wonder why the hell she was picking on me! My fondest memory of her is actually one where I got a whooping! Lol. She and my grandfather ran a restaurant in the city square where they lived-Papine, and one day I was on the rooftop patio clearing the tables and a guest left a little bit of beer in their Red Stripe bottle. I looked around and put that bottle right to my head. Next thing I knew she flew down on me and with her strong hands and gave me about 3 slaps across my back! I was so startled, I could piss myself! My mother is going to hear about this I thought!! She was an excellent, excellent cook and very protective. I did love that she took me everywhere with her and like a grandmother, was always teaching a lesson and extending a treat. I have a friend that reminds me so much of the care of a loving grandmother but I sometimes feel like I burden her too much. If Miss Slyvie was here, I wouldn’t care because grandmothers are not allowed to dislike you. If she was here, so many life choices would have gone differently, because her word would be one I could count on and trust. I also wish she was here to meet my son, who in his own way is the sweetest! Sigh, just musings today…nothing major!

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Lineage….

I love visiting my 73 yr old grandaunt. My grandmothers sister is such a joy! There is a certain level of security that overcomes when around a much older person. It is as if they can tell the future and you know they will be there to protect you, if needs be. I always feel so inclined to believe when she says certain things will or won’t turn out a certain way. They’re the person you direct others to when they ask for an adult; even if you are grown yourself. I’ve learned a long time ago that telling someone not to do something that their parents do is incomprehensible. As grown as people are they think it’s forbidden to think things their parents do are damning or bad. They are their blueprint and many try so hard to brush aside this fact.

Grandmother

Requiescat in pace….

My family and I stay there long enough for my baby to scream her ears off, for her to notice that my husband has had more than 3 beers and for me to start losing control of my nudity (breastfeeding mom here!). She will Zumba you into next week, feed you enough for you to land in a coma, deliver a food baby or croak from gluttony. I, however, love the gems that always fall on my head like raindrops beating on a hot zinc roof. I absolutely love the stories and calm that befalls once I release and have her assess my worries. There’s never an annoying, irritating moment with her and I always kick up my heels when she let a lil cuss word slip. I miss my grandmother dearly and regret how I treated her as a child. I just thought she was too miserable and just a downright bother to be around. She passed away when I was too young to appreciate her but the wisdom I missed out on, I yearn for in my daily life.

After the birth of my son, I craved the golden rules that brought generation of children in the world. I missed entirely the superstitions that you know makes no sense but test anyway to see if they really do work. I learn so much in my weekends with my grandaunt and enjoyed so much care and love. There was not a moment that she could stay still but I’m always addicted to running behind her hoping to catch those things that just can’t be taught. I live for those good ‘I am because this is what I see moments’. I always cherished the seniors and will always hold on to their wisdom and rich experiences.

Family likeness and history is something that I respect and observe a lot of. I can sit and look through old photo albums of families for hours; whether it’s my own or others. I learn so much about people this way and I get so inspired by generations and how they interact. I often laugh at how children try so hard to win over adults not knowing they did the same thing to their parents and their parents’ parents. One of my favorite things is to observe friends around their own families, their children and spouses. The shift from one role to the other is quite a study. The things generations learn and carry are so unique, the body language, tone, values and even dance can be traced. It is imperative; I can’t let my generations slip by me. I need to be in my children’s skin. My presence needs to be a coat on their structure. I need to spoil my grand and great grands. I could not survive with the family from my womb being at odds. I am because I was taught/learned to be and I need to pass on my own family values and history. My signature needs to be carved onto my generation…