I wasn’t a ‘stan’ for Beyonce growing up. It wasn’t that I didn’t like her music, my favorite kind of music was oldies. The hits from the 60s, 70s and 80s is what I loved. I would always jam to her tunes but I didn’t understand her magnitude. I loved getting lost in these eras and still do. The songs from those times had the ultimate life lessons for which I was very grateful. As I became an adult I realized many things, one of which was the way people ‘work’. I saw people in two categories, those who grind and those who does and would not. Every time I was left alone pushing through a group project in college, I got a taste of people in the world. Every time I had to step up and shoulder major tasks in my role at work, I got a taste of people in the real world. Every time I have had to yell ‘I’ll do it!’; the taste lingered. The more I pushed through grand tasks, being deadbeat tired and still moving, the more I grew bewildered. There was a point in my life when I was working a full-time job, a part-time job, taking request for a paying hobby all while going to school as a full-time student. Friends and family hadn’t see me for months. One friend saw me because we worked together. The more these days turned into months, the more I was confused about how others were living. There are people in this world that cannot hold down 1 steady job. Adults, who are incapable of working steadily, earning a living and covering their bills and basic expenses. I’m talking about men and women alike, not SAHMs or SAHDs, I’m talking drifters. Significant others that just want to lay around and be carried. We all know them and wonder how they survive. Even more so how they excel in relationships and why they are being enabled. I could never respect a capable being holding their own. I could never trust them for they don’t even love themselves. It boggles my mind how comfortable people get just floating day in and day out. Stationary, still with no desire for much more than the next meal. I shuddered at that scene in Chewing Gum when Cynthia said she wanted nothing out of life but to play LUDO with Tracey all day. I know people like this exists! I wondered if my partner and I were the only ones who lived like this and why. Doesn’t everybody want a million? Don’t they want more for their children and own life?
You might be wondering how Bey ties in to this. Where does Slayonce lie here? She ties in because no matter what is said about her, she does the work. All of the work, all the time. I have to respect the work ethic, I have to lift up the drive and ambition. As hard as she goes, she doesn’t always win, which is also a part of life but the works goes on. She’s on to the next project or step. She does it consistently, focused and moving on, all without an ego! As I shouldered many things alone I drew to women who were the same. I also separated from those who cannot hold their own, they felt like anchors and their relationships with others around them turned me off. It was all too transactional. I looked deeper at women who do and who get jokes cracked on them because they do. Also saw the other side of women who get criticized for the most irrelevant things. Lisa Price, Michaela Coel, Shonda Rhimes, my aunts and other women in my family, friends, Michelle Obama, Oprah, my sis-in-law. There’s a reason why they stand high, some alone. I’ve learned to channel the strength of the greats and I can’t wait to pass that aptitude on to my daughter. My son is already a work in progress. If not for yourself, do the work, all of it, all the time for those that want to respect you. Things has to be done because the world doesn’t stop for any one. Ever.