Like a virgin….

Have you ever had a sad but funny memory flashback and you cannot help but try to bring yourself back to that time?

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14 years old with eyebrows like slugs….

So this is a sad but funny moment in my young life. When I was in high school I had this boyfriend that I was crazy about.  Mad, sickening, uncontrollably in love and I just couldn’t get over him for a while. Our song was Michael Jackson-Speechless and I sang every word with so much emotion and admiration. We had so many great memories and I loved that boy so much, I could just die when we broke up. Thankfully, I didn’t, things got ugly a while after and somehow, someone, somewhere brought me through the storm. See, I was always enamored by boys when I was younger, loving multiple at a time, sometimes without them even knowing about me. So, when I finally got over this one, I was perfectly fine getting caught up with the next beautiful soul that caught my eye. Oh to be a teen again!

Anyway, this story is about the time, my mother found out I was no longer a virgin.                             I was intimate with this boyfriend for a while, even though I was very young. We had a very ‘serious’ relationship and all his friends, even his parents knew me. That was huge, I wasn’t even over 16 at this time. I vividly remember his mother talking to me about being too young to be with him and me, smiling shyly because honestly his love was all I needed in the world. I felt like we could have run away together and we would be quite ok! Having the last ‘ah-ha!’ to naysayers and thriving as couple. This would never come to fruition. While we were wild together, he was always wild all the time. We did very wild things and had many experiences together that to this day still crack me up! So anyway, back to the story. My aunt was visiting from Canada, and so was a friend that goes to the same

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15 and 16…going on 40!

school as me. My boyfriend came to visit and we were lying in bed together. We starting making out and things got hot and heavy and right in front of both of them we engaged in a little coitus. Thinking we did so discreetly, I never discussed it with either one of them, because in my mind they never realized or saw what was happening because we were all supposed to be watching TV; not us! Silly me. That night my mother came home, she brought me to the back of the yard and drilled me. ‘Are you having sex?’ ‘Are you a virgin?’ ‘Are you lying?’ (Obviously, I wasn’t going to say yes), ‘Are you using protection and do you know you could get pregnant?’. I denied everything and thought I got off Scott free. I went back into the house and decided to go take a shower. I wanted to cool down before attacking my aunt and friend, but I couldn’t do it right away because my mother was following me and it would have been too obvious. So, I went straight to the shower. Now, I don’t know what came over this woman but she bust the door open and drew away the shower curtain and stared at me. I didn’t move and out of nowhere, ‘WHAM!’ one punch to the stomach. I doubled over and held my stomach while trying to keep from slipping and falling. She said nothing then walked right out and closed the door. I had stopped getting beatings a long time ago and thought, this was a whole different ball game, she was going to fight me. She cussed me out one last time over it and even cried to make me feel guilty. I didn’t feel guilty and he had said I could always be with him if I get put out, so to me, I would have been fine! Plus, I was spared a beat down, I absolutely positively did no see the lesson in all of this. That was the last time we ever addressed the subject and I was very grateful for that. I honestly can’t say a punch to the gut stopped or slowed me down, but I do know there was some distance in her parenting after that. My aunt admitted to being the rat and I’ve hated her guts since. My friend oddly enough was mad at the fact that I was deflowered and didn’t tell her I ‘did it’ before her. Sigh, teenagers; also on about the wrong things!!

 

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