The birth of my son filled me with a new sense of strength; unfortunately it’s not the strength to overcome. It is the strength to go ape shit and all the way out obnoxious and belligerent. I have gained the strength to nip things in the bud immediately, regardless of saving face. The strength to bite my lips to the point where I taste blood because the last bit of respect I have for someone is being toyed with. I, fortunately is now feeling what every mother feels.
Horrible news story where infants, toddlers and children are inflicted used to rub me the wrong way, now I’m just flat out mad and ready. I’m ready to wage a war on any perpetrator. I’m ready to band with any mother who needs artillery and manpower to defend the innocence and rights of her child. I refuse to apologize for being crazy when
people come at me sideways about things I’d rather not talk about and have made clear. Things they deem appropriate but is highly disrespectful and just anyone that thinks they have what it takes to question my family. I have been gifted a new boldness that will let you get your ass handed to you. Please do not pass your place with my family or be downright rude, as I will be forced to rip your face of with my toenails and devour every inch of your sad being inch by inch. By inch. A part of me is sad as I have lost my tranquility. I am usually calm and level headed, thoughtful and very understanding. I am still that way but I feel I have been tweeked somewhat. I just cannot appreciate seeing my heart walk around the world and get trampled on. No, ma’am. I have decided to own this newness and have unfortunately pushed away a few individuals who clearly cannot handle my truths. I refuse to apologize. Give me my due and if you are unable to abide by the rules of my life, then please don’t let that door hit you on the way out. Sigh, sadly I have begun to scare myself.
My husband himself has been filled with a new wonderment. I imagine he wonders where I’ve gone and just when exactly will I be coming back. Never, baby. Never