….We came home and worked through a few kinks in the house, tested him in new bouncers and just basically got around to routine baby caring. I observed my body in the mirror and was amazed at what it had gone through and was still going through. I looked about 6 months pregnant now and my tummy was empty and felt hollow. My feet were swollen and massive and hurt but they didn’t get in the way of me walking. At nightfall things got interesting, our bed was too high for my incision and my only option was to sleep in the couch, while my husband and baby slept in the bedroom; without me. Again I said I will not be left out and honestly believe pushing myself up and down from that bed helped me heal faster. I needed to be there for my baby and I needed to always be there.
Our newborn was to be seen by a doctor by Thursday, just to be checked, but on Wednesday during a feeding while daddy was running errands; baby got erratic. It was time for his feeding and I noticed he was stiffening his body and just turning a million shades of orange right before my eyes; not to mention he wouldn’t eat. I lost my shit and began wailing worse than he was. We were both at a loss and in one fell swoop he hit himself in the face and a huge glob of mucus flew right out of his nose, then he puked. He calmed down some but I was already at too hysteric to think straight, I called daddy to come home and he did immediately and off to the doctors we went. I want to say my crying ended once the doctor gave us his blessing that we were doing a good job, but I had the worse breakdown of my life on this day. My state must have been obvious because he kept asking how he could help me and If I needed anything but all I could think was baby. I was so concerned I had hurt my baby I still hadn’t let a doctor officially check on my rashes. We went to Wal Mart where me and daddy got into it and I had to go sit in the car and just cry until he was done shopping and we were home. At home I locked myself in my bathroom and cried some more. I physically could not stop the tears. Mentally I felt broken and lost in a world I knew nothing about but was expected to ace or else there would be serious repercussions for this human’s life. As if irritated the rashes became even worse and once daddy and I talked about what a day I had, I showered, took 2 Benadryls and went to nap. This had such a horrible effect on me, even though I had taken Benadryl in the hospital. My stretch marks were raised, I got a hard stomach that was very painful and I became delirious. It was very scary seeing myself like this and after calling Telehealth and being told I had hives, the next day we went to the walk in clinic.
Thursday morning I was blessed with an empty clinic and was seen promptly once I showed my stomach. The nurse strongly advised that next time I got to emerg and get an IV of prednisone as my condition was very scary. Once the doctor visited with me, we discussed the meds I was on in the hospital and was given medication for 3 days. These worked but not well enough, so I used calamine for the on the surface stuff as the bumps springing up had subsided. I also used a mix of tea tree, coconut, almond oil and glycerine to keep my skin moisturized so that I wouldn’t itch. I also downed 2 tablespoon of Sulphur Bitters just to ‘bitter my blood’ but I still was feeling the effects. I looked up my issues and saw that I had a potential allergic reaction to the penicillin and this was causing high blood pressure, hives and the swelling in my feet to start getting worse. Again, another challenge accepted. I completed my meds and decided to act on it even more when we visited the doctor on the coming Wednesday. I felt like I had solved the last of my issues and wanted to feel anew; after all I just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and I had been on a high since seeing myself when we came home. I combed my hair for the first time since Friday and relaxed it so that all the new growth from the pregnancy was now straight. On Friday, it was the official beginning of the rest of our life, a new day for us, as we ran errands with baby and carried on as best as we could, not for once thinking about our issues. On Saturday, we had guests who pulled us out of the house again and we enjoyed watching daddy and friends play tennis, while baby slept, I guffawed with 2 precious souls. When our guests left, we both felt alive, nothing was holding me down and daddy was as happy as he could be. On Sunday, we stayed home bonding with our baby and reminiscing on the week that was. What a world wind it was, what an experience, we gained new monikers; mom and dad.
In the second week with baby, we thought our only hiccup was that he was projectile vomiting an entire bottle of feeding; there was also the fact that he hadn’t gained any weight. We figured this happened on Friday when we took him on the road because of the hassle. Then it happened on Wednesday morning before his doctor’s visit and again on Wednesday evening when we came home. We have since been more proactive at ensuring that his is digesting his feeds and is in an upright position for extended periods of times before putting him to lay down. We have also increased how many times a day he eats and is learning more about his feeding cues. I have to say so far, so good. I was given a stronger dose of meds for my hives and cortisone for my skin. As this is a steroid, I used it once, especially after noticing that I was doing way better now and my feet were going down. The blood pressure will be sure to come down once I am given an all clear, as this isn’t something I had to battle before pregnancy.
Throughout this journey, I have bawled about how hairy I was getting, how much money I was spending on food, clothes that don’t fit. I have broken down about the fact that my husband won’t want me anymore because of the transformations my body was making. I have experienced bouts of going bat shit crazy because he didn’t turn left
when he should have or he asked a question in a certain tone or just simply ask too many questions all at once. None of that mattered when I saw my baby. He was ours and while mommy was out of commission, we both became so in sync with each other it was as if we became the same person. We became such as team; the 3 of us. It was just a kaleidoscope of 3 beings treading the same path instinctively; perfectly. Daddy was all we both had and we could not have asked for more. We both love and adore him so much, I believe the final portion of be ing crazy during this fourth trimester was all about protecting daddy. He is definitely the center of our universe.