Body Love….

It’s been 4 months since I’ve had my son and 4 months since I haven’t lost a pound. I will confess that I gave myself too many conditions to losing weight. I first said, I will wait until I am cleared from the doctor at my 6-8 weeks check- up. I then said, let me just get the cravings out of my system and ate a mountains of bad food. There was also the reasoning that ‘I just gave birth’ and had time. Time for what exactly, I wasn’t sure. I am enamored by my body and what it has done, but I know that I could treat it way better. This post is a confessional on what I should have done post-birth.

In the first 6-8 weeks, I ate poorly, swallowed carb after carb after carb and boisterously laughed at jokes about my double chin. I ate boxes and boxes of mac and cheese, loads of rice and conspicuous amounts of ‘gourmet’ burgers and juicy, tender Popeye’s fried chicken. I drank pop after pop after pop and flourished swimmingly in a sea of sugary treats made up of cakes, cookies, danishes and anything glazed beyond recognition. I enlisted my SO to ensure that there was always cooked food in the house when he went to work, so that whenever I was up with the baby, I had something to eat I ‘gave’ myself that death sentence because I felt that was what was needed at the time. I was wrong.

In the next 9-14 weeks, I joined the gym. However, ensuring there was always a meal available went on perfectly for a month. Then it was just an ongoing cycle of missing meals and eating once a day. Grasping at whatever was left in the cupboards and just inhaling whatever sounded like a decent quick fix to feeling bloated from sleeping all day instead of eating and bypassing dealing with my hunger the right way.

Weeks 15-18, I began to take better stock of myself. Harsh realities pointed to the obvious, NO ONE is going to do it for me. Not 1lb lost was another disappointing blow to my core. Laziness was a crime to my life and I needed to snap out of it, love myself more and start taking care of my body better. The headaches where my head felt airy also helped to push me to do better. I made a vow to take better care of ME. So, I did one of my favorite things in life. I reflected in time. Using a 4 month span,( not excluding the 6-8 week ‘free time’), I looked at old pictures, old posts and got an realistic picture of myself. I accepted the size of my body and was disappointed at the way I looked. A recent video of a party I held this weekend magnified the thoughts I had always shoved to the back of my mind. I just don’t look good.

So, Monday morning, I decided to start with small changes. I had a lot of work and catching up to do but I decided to venture out. I would drink more water daily, not have a cheat day BUT a cheat meal (on the advice of a dear friend), slowly build up to the gym, record significant dietary happenings and stop skipping meals. As impossible as I thought doing all this was, I decided to do so with the help of an unrestrictive, easy, healthy and proven successful plan. I have had success with juicing and due to my juicer being broken; I am taking a plunge with smoothies. Twice a day, with a variety of fruits and veggies around the house so that I won’t get bored. I am 3 days in and is yet to go to the gym but I will get there. I am ready to fully do the work and is hoping for some success this time around.

If I can give anyone advice, it would be to not wait around. Get going as soon as you can and not give in to the excuses. Yes, it is ok to indulge but start to make better choice the moment you are able to, for your sake and your family’s. People will always agree with you instead of hitting you with the hard truth, but you will need to agree that you like what you see in the mirror.

fin.

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