Natural Medicine….

I once had a yeast infection so bad I thought my vagina was going to fall off, burst through my underwear and hit the ground. Yes, I know the biological parts of the entire organ but it felt like as a whole, the entire thing was coming together to rip away from my body. I reached out to my aunt who is a Nurse and a friend then I went straight to the doctor. The doc’s office called me back the next day and told me to hit the pharmacy for some clotrimazole-Canesten, Miconazole- Monistat; whatever. I rolled my eyes but was also relieved. I’m used to feeling itchy around the time I get a period, but this was next level. It also felt like my perineum was eating itself with aluminum teeth that sparked with each bite. I was burning. Things like these always come with an unfair amount of embarrassment but thankfully I have the type of women around me that rally instead of run tell dat! My friend suggested that I get a bottle of Natural Factors Probiotics with CranRich, cut sugar and bread. As per her remedy, for 1 day I took 3 tablets 3 times for the day. I did this for 2 days just in case. It felt like my downstairs folded out and back in and I was cut loose. My itching was gone and I was renewed. Unscathed. I once told a Naturopathic doc this remedy and she raised her brows at how much I took, but hey, it work! I’ve literally been doing this for about 2 years without fail. I drink GTS Synergy organic kombucha in the Cosmic Cranberry flavor every now and then as well and it keeps me going! I’m sharing this for those women who are ashamed to ask and don’t know that your ph balance needs attention and to not be ashamed of a little change.

I’ve kept cold/flu free with Golden Seal. Whenever I catch a hint of the sniffles, I take 2 tablets in the morning and 2 in the evening. I also up my water intake and keep away from the ill.

I’ve dealt with anemia all my life and have finally found a simple way to get my iron in! The Spatone liquid iron taste the way fish smells, but it doesn’t have a smell. It is very easy to take and it’s also been very effective. I believe they’re worth a try if you don’t wish to take capsules or pills. Best perk? No constipation!

Advertisements

When eras end…

I can’t quite put my finger on the exact thing that caught the thread and caused it to pull right out. I only have a ‘round about’ time frame. Modern inventions allowed me to scan through photographs of the past few months to help pin point when exactly captures started involving 1 less person. When exactly conversations started getting too fiery and draining. It’s the strangest thing I’ve ever experienced and maddening because I don’t’ have an ‘Aha!’ moment to rest it all on. I just know that somewhere, somehow, things frayed and frayed and frayed. Maybe one day I can bare my feelings, but as of today I can’t. I’ve literally been dumb struck by the mess of it all. I can’t bring myself to be outraged, not even to those who should get my words. I just can’t explode and its killing me to yell and scream and blow everything out the water. I have moments of extreme sadness and low thoughts but most days I just continue to try to stay on top of it all. I look ahead and think, ‘wow, I can say this is something I’ve done. Nothing I’d revisit but glad to have experienced’. The ugly parts are bitterly bad and to subject myself to that level of exposure again makes my spirit recoil and my cheeks flush with embarrassment.

I’m not sure what its called when you comment on how sunny the day is and in an effort to never agree with you someone is adamant it’s rainy; when it’s dry as ever. Especially when they go a step further to convince you that your eyes deceived you and their account is what should stand. Bewilderment aside, you learn to always expect a battle. You’ve tracked and can count how many times their actions didn’t match their words. You learn to no longer share yourself or your worlds. This isn’t to be intentionally rude, but you just can’t bring yourself to deal with the tit for tat one more time. On top of everything else. There is friction where sparks used to be. A lot of confusion where comfort once was and a lot of questions where the source of answers once lived. You dive in online for support and find yourself in the worlds of strangers that have tussled through the phases.  You work out every scenario in your head, every angle, every option, every step and make a small ditch effort to check for change but is stung and retreat into your shell. Continuing through with your word, that is bond.

I need to research and see where I stand with a particular habit. The obsession to track dates and time and frequency makes it extremely hard for me to stop trying to fit things in to a rightful place. The ordering of events is a drug. I can depend on myself, so deciding to split hairs has not been very difficult. You do wish you could snap your finger and go back to a cycle of bliss; but you are not a fool. Maybe you once were, but these days you can’t afford to be one still. You ride the waves in silence, which sadly cause things to fester. However, you cannot speak in anger or during high times, a course must be ran. One day I tried to go back to better times to try to find the beauty in our lives and I could not. I could not see the beauty in someone that used to inspire me on so many levels and plains. I tried to will my body and mind to speak to my emotions; but there was no pulse. I could not feel, so I Just wish for peace and the freedom they seek as well and keep trotting. Right now, nothing feels better than this.

Becoming: Michelle Obama

I cried at least twice reading this book. I got mad, I laughed, I got annoyed and I got scared as fuck. The image of Sasha’s little face in that van window ripped me apart too. I don’t think I’ve seen a modern-day sacrifice like this one. So, it breaks my heart that a lot of people won’t understand what they did. She spoke a lot about timing. Moments for change and hope and she was so right. Barack’s moment was the right time to do this for all people; not just blacks or Americans. I couldn’t read it everyday like a novel. I felt too much and a lot of things felt so heavy to me. Michelle spoke from the depths of her very big heart and I wasn’t ready for none of it. I didn’t expect the grit and was saddened by the political machine abuse. Which unfortunately comes with the job. ‘Protect the Obamas’ mean such a different thing to me now. I had a lot of black moments while reading. I felt so scared sometimes and very proud at others. A sort of mix of emotions that resulted in me telling myself to push through in life because somethings can change in the future. So much respect for Mrs. Obama; I see why her husband dotes on her. She is the ultimate black inspirational rock. She wasn’t afraid to admit she likes and aims to check  boxes but wants to be a good mother too. She wants balance while doing it all and she worked for that with every bit of strength she had. I admire her might so much and her willingness to get things moving. Man, I wanted to fight somebody when she spoke about her attacks from political pundits. Especially when she spoke about how they rip into your life so much and try you as adults for choices you made as a youth. It stirred me and reminded me of the abuse I endured when I used to go to a church back home. So much talk, but to your face there was nothing but smiles. Its enough to turn stomachs. I loved the choices she made throughout her life and the respect and recognition she gave her parents who tried their utmost best to set their children up for life. There’s so much to take from this book, so many gems on life. For instance, the way she did not sugar coat how Barack’s absence from the home really worked her fucking nerves. How she was thrown into things and expected to wing shit on her own every time. Man, it grinded my gears how incensed she was trying to balance it all as if she was a single mother. It enraged me and I know she yelled the way she should and her movement to ‘let daddy catch up to us’ was the perfect lock to honing things in.

I just can’t get over America in a lot of ways. What did black women do to America? The disdain for people of different color was and continues to be so dangerous and she spoke a lot about race in America. She spoke so much about her family and how they endured and fought the system in their own way. How privilege looks so different based on your color. She was privileged with an amazing family that comes together the way only black folks do. She saw how privilege affected her family’s ability to provide and it was like a ‘Potter’s scar’ in her life. Forever she fought to invade spaces and break down barriers. Her life’s work is to reduce the stigmas and show us not as ‘others’ or dangerous but as people. Humans. People who are talented and deserving. People with families to provide for and loved ones that should get the best. People are people and life is very fucking real. Altering people’s ability to live a quality life intentionally is a sick joke that many gets away with. This book shows you that politics is a game to be played to the best of your ability and race is a bait that cripples your advantage. So be open and aware of the things happening around you and work on your own goals. Don’t easily slip into being a statistic and fight like hell for your seat at the table. One thing this book did was embolden me to make better choices. As a generation trying to change the generational trajectory of what is expected of our lives; every move is a risk. There are opportunities out there to take hold of as well, be on the right side of history.

This book was so loud! She named her enemies and crossed them off her list. She named every single idiot hat treated her and her family like filth. The same way trump emboldens his followers and make them batty. Indefinitely, attacking and acting out a nightmare. It was as if Michelle said, you want to know what happened during our time in the white house? I’ll fucking tell you what the fuck happened up in there and don’t you fucking ask me to do none of that shit again! She’s the ultimate rider for her spouse. The ultimate soul spilling. At the end of it all she still said to lead with love and hope and put your best forward every time to everyone. Even when they don’t deserve it. After all she endured she still lead with love. We never knew the depth of her experience in the moment because of optics, but we know now. This is literally the best book I’ve read in my adult life.

After each section, I had to take a breath. I had to process the message and let things sink in. This book will go over a lot people’s heads because there is no trauma to attach yourself to. The middle-class life isn’t interesting and people are conditioned to love sad stories and feel grateful having escaped or not having had to go through certain things. It’s why people fuck with you when you’re low but hate on you when you’re high.

A few notes:

  1. Robbie’s life signified how people or institutions will give you everything but what you deserve. It’s like working the role of 4 people but getting paid the salary for 1 but being allowed to come late every now and then. No. Due diligence is the language of respect. ‘Even if we didn’t know that context, we were instructed to remember that context existed. Everyone on earth, was carrying around an unseen history, and that alone deserved some tolerance.’
  2. Michelle is notorious for a closed mouth smile and in black culture this is type of body language describes an action or the space you’re in so clearly. it is extremely different from the greeting by those of the fairer hue.
  3. The racial experiences described weren’t just about being called the n-word or being physically attacked. The stories she presented was more of an in depth look at how racist systemic barriers impeded the lives of everyday Americans. The underbelly. They showed how black Americans were controlled and kept under the bar. The only skill that caused any one from her story to take back their power was the natural musical talent that Robbie had. Everyone else had to stay under the radar and do their best.
  4. There are subtle ways that racism affected her life, From Robbie life work and talent being reduced to teaching piano lessons. Gentrification affecting her school where a white teacher didn’t even try with students and just labeled them ‘bad kids’. Despite there being no guidance or structure and their class was in the grim, underlit room in the basement of the school. These kids were mocked with a racist teacher who was stationed to ‘keep an eye’ until the school time passed and not actually impact her students in any way. These same kids who of the entire class had no one to lobby for their right to a proper education. Imagine being broken from a youth and conditioned to believe you were a problem to ‘deal with’ and not a valuable member of society A given that Michelle’s mother had to take into her own hands and see change. Her father introduced her to politics and positioned himself as an ear and voice for his people. This impacted her in a major way and reminded me of the work my grandfather did with a political party back home. Reading about a child feeling like she ‘outed’ a white passing family when they got invited to their new fancy shiny community gave me knots in my stomach. That was heavy for a child to process, knowing them being outed means them maybe being ‘sent’ back to being with the blacks. The great migration where her grandfather and uncles who were intelligent enough and able bodied not being able to work the way they dreamed. To this she said you never quite knew what other folks saw you to be. She didn’t realize gentrification was taking place until she compared her school photos.
  5. Parenting:Hats off to the way her parents raised her. To the mother she tries to be for her girls. To the openness and exposure that Barack was allowed as a youth. The Robinsons appreciated her feistiness, which boosted her confidence and did not allow her to fear her intelligence or her ability to be a critical thinker. She had a fire lit in her from a young girl and that manifested itself into a queen.
  6. Women: It isn’t accidental that her arsenal of girlfriends all supported and taught her a lot. She was intentional in curating a circle that was filled with women who lift each other up. Intentional in having all kinds of friends too, those who push you ahead, those in the trenches with you and those you may just have to extend a good hand to. All relevant.

Everyone should read this book.

E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E!

An American Marriage….

We are conditioned to believe we have to fight for our love. An American Marriage, proved that we don’t ever need to. We can be happy without a struggle love story. We can also be happy by settling into what is convenient. There’s also multiple ways to be with someone. Andre and Celestial communion. The many unions through marriage, including Roy and Davina potential union. Ghetto Yoda and his many pen pals that keep him from loneliness and continue to feed his need for more than one at a time. There are so many themes to unpack in this novel. The most glaring should be black men and how easy it is to find themselves behind bars. Almost as if they are marked to end up there from birth (prison babies).The inefficient police and court system that tried and put an innocent man behind bars for years. However, this awful sentence did not make the book heavy. There is also the stigmas associated with black women. Makes you wonder, What did black women ever do to America? The explanation of a black woman image with the prison baby disgusted me but Walter was absolutely right. It’s why some black folks won’t do certain things in a corporate space like eat fried chicken.There are stories of black history, race, black fatherhood and the multiple children from multiple women.

 

This book is about fathers. Those who left, those who stayed, those who provided, those who filled the gaps. I felt a knot in my stomach at the mention of how things could be so good one day and so sour the next. I don’t have pictures with my dad as a child and he wasn’t always absent. When I got older I got the same speech Carlos gave Andre when we reunited.

There was also, gentrification, separation, divorce, traditional relationships. The central theme in this book though is love. Will you wait on love? Does waiting on love look different for black men and women? A black man would never wait; just saying. Does love conquer all?

Celestial cannot quite pin herself down to love blindly but is very committed to whichever man is in her life. Roy was the kind of man that was glad for a diamond but knew damn well he couldn’t keep it from getting cloudy and would bust his ego trying to do so. Andre had a weakness to Celestial that he just could never shake; she was an obsession for years. Roy and Olive had true agape love. Mr. and Mrs. Davenport loved freely after coming through the fire. Carlos loved whomever would maintain the traditional role of a woman in his life, as I can’t find myself believing that he is faithful to his new wife. The way he replaced his family showed a type of savagery a lot of black children know very well. Hell, having been raised with a father in your life is usually a shock. Finally, Davina, so ready to pour into someone and all she required was that they assure her that there was something; ultimately making her ‘the one’. A marriage IS between 2 people. After the showdown and everyone has left, you are faced with each other. This is where you are bare and will need to either soar, sink or get sucked in to societal pressure to make it work or stay for the kids. Every marriage is different and you have to tell yourself to intentionally choose to love the same person everyday. In addition, people tolerate very different things in what they think a marriage should be.

Now, I don’t know if I wanted Roy and Celestial to work for a number of reasons not related to Roy’s stint in prison. They did not marry within their socioeconomic status bracket and it caused welts in their relationship. Roy is suffering from cognitive dissonance and jealousy, frankly. The  ‘equally yolked’ stress is from a religious background that neither in the marriage care for, yet is reminded of. He makes reference to Celestial’s wealth every chance he gets and beats himself down because he couldn’t surpass what her daddy could provide. Roy’s obsession with his poor upbringing is ruining his ability to love freely. He is so hung up on how much Celestial had that he cannot bring himself to enjoy his marriage within what he can afford to provide.

Roy was also a very sloppy cheater, having multiple instances of being caught entertaining other women while married! Celestial is a free woman. You cannot tame women or own them and Roy did not understand this. Mr. Davenport did and her father tried to teach him that. In addition, ‘sitting her down’ was a delusion, as her craft is what brought in the bacon. He tried so hard to race against tradition that his entire interactions with her were based on what he thinks ‘ a wealthy woman’ would want to hear instead of speaking freely. Roy constantly hid things from his upbringing from her and held onto secrets. He is untrustworthy. It’s why he continued to collect numbers from other women. He struggled too much with being enough, when she genuinely just wanted an honest, dedicated loving man. I hated how he let his insecurities rule him so much he voiced his jealousy out loud. All while Celestial really tried to be a good wife and was being herself through and through and still couldn’t get him to bend. Roy’s irritability made me rub my temples. It was as if any question he didn’t like would set him off. A man like that has an impenetrable ego and pride that won’t let him do what’s best but what he thinks is best.

I despised Andre and his wormy behavior. He was a watchful cheetah for years, just waiting to pounce because he was never chosen. Celestial is lucky it was a positive situation. It’s why he didn’t fight back, he knew he was always a weakling. Andre is all types of pathetic and his story line was too good to be true, of course he loved her! Andre and Celestial relationship just leaves a bad taste in my mouth, even if she did deserve some comfort. Did I feel compelled to feel for Celestial because she’s a woman? I’m unsure. I do think that Celestial and Andre being overly supportive every time they interacted with anyone that had to do with Roy irked my spirit. Classism at its peak with how they threw money at everything or tried to do it all. As if to give these ‘poor people’ a break from their sad life; taking over their moments. Their over enthusiasm to set up Roy if he wanted to stay in Atlanta made me sick. The imbeciles. Thinking they could buy him out with a head start for a new life. Fuck outta here.

A few points:

  1. Is it better to have no father than a bad one? Ghetto Yoda is my dad. In the flesh and on parchment. Lots of wise cracks; no responsibility.
  2. I like how Celestial opened up her doll to her world. Their faces started to be framed to look like others in her life and not just Roy anymore.
  3. I love the way art was used throughout as a way to express the things happening in her life.
  4. The Old Hickey tree represented truth and honesty that fuels life. You can lie to yourself and try so hard to change things but only what’s real will be left standing.
  5. The prison turned Roy into a bona fide criminal, alluding that he could have raped Celestial when she protested against unsafe sex. Assault and damage to property. So many parts of an upstanding man died.
  6. Every time I saw Andre’s name I rolled my eyes.
  7. I don’t think I’m mad at Roy for the fight scene. A lot time things happen to us that we want to beat out of our systems but we don’t or can’t. The way Celestial understood and managed this entire moment was filled with so much compassion.I was with her until she wanted to call the cops. I was with her most of the time in this book.
  8. When Roy said ‘I’ll go back to prison, I don’t care’. He doesn’t care because he survived half his term and thinks he can do even more. He also got in the prison mind state and routine. Stockholm Syndrome.
  9. Celestial absolved herself of all responsibility to Roy when she let Andre convince her to tell him about their relationship. She was doing so well in managing what happened to the future she planned with her husband. Then she lost her footing and allowed a ‘can you deal with it, so I don’t have to because this is foolishness’ roundabout way attitude to take over. Like she didn’t owe him the common decency to end things herself. Like this man was an associate in passing she can send a message to. A sort of, ‘Tell Roy its over for us for me please and say hi to his dad for me’. What a reduction. Another blow to a man already having gone through so much filth. This broke my heart.
  10. Celestial is a strong, free woman who thought logically about things in her life. She lives by mind, not heart. It’s why she knew terminating her pregnancy was the best option and did it. It’s why she did not wait for a man that wouldn’t wait for her. It’s why she had such an attachment to her dolls and her craft knowing the value of her own hard work. Also, that happiness comes from oneself and the life you aim to cultivate. She was as independent as can be and this was further possible considering the benefits of generational wealth. She was a responsible (except when it came to ending things with Roy, which to be fair she battled with doing herself), intentional human being.
  11. I host a big choir of my own for sure, a heavy loud choir these days. Do we ever listen to the voices in our head?
  12. Roy Sr. burying his Olive with his hands hurt me deep and I almost shed a thug tear.
  13. Keys opened doors, that kind of power I liked.
  14. Break your own heart, or they will break it for you. Geez. Tears.
  15. Olive didn’t need to learn her lesson about men more than once, so much so she handled what she needed to so she wouldn’t get caught slipping, pregnant and alone. This led to her attachment, as she had experience the worst kind of hurt. Single motherhood when you did not enter the journey alone is a heartbreak in itself that beats you every time you look at your kid. I wish Olive had a fight scene with Roy Sr and won.
  16. There isn’t one way to be ‘married’ and perhaps the word should be replaced and the institution opened all the way up. We should frame it differently and ease the tension it comes with. The pressure to catch a spouse, maintaining it when it can be a personal hell and to not be afraid to end it or view that as a failure. Marriages should be easier to end.

 

This book was hot the entire way through, never a slow period to me. It is an excellent, worthy weekend read. Don’t leave your bottle of Pinot and reading socks.

 

Waft….

I used to write poems all the time.

last night after a few drinks, I let the words flow on my Notes app….

Edited to the music Garden by Emeli Sande, Jay Electronica and Aine Zion

Please bide here with your soul open…for old time’s sake…

 

He doesn’t bother to wear a shirt to visit me,

The less clothes legally allowed the better.

As he walks in a whiff of his natural smell hits me,

I am then forever endowed.

 

Oh sweet sweet chocolate blackberry mud pie,

Kiss me so gently.

 

Lift me onto your beautiful body,

Hold me by my eyes,

Brave shoulders now giving way to my pride.

 

Oh sweet caramel, hot toffee

Taste me from the point of life’s origin

 

Beautiful man. Strong and mighty,

Love me like the sun sets in the morning

Till the breeze makes us shiver from the cold dew on our skin,

 

Oh sweet sweet nectar, feed my every whim,

Touch me with a light feather hand,

Grip my bosom with the might of your plan

 

Oh perfect dew, mousse flavored specimen,

Love me till I spill all I hide within

Where to work? Pt. 2

As a working mother, I need flex time. As a human being, I need flex time. As a productive, tax paying member of society who pays transit and support businesses all around me, I need flex time. As a member of society coerced by traditions and norms I need flex time. As someone navigating bad weather, dating, loss, burdens, responsibilities, my mental health; I need flex time. I’m not talking about letting me be late every day. I’m talking about allowing me 2hrs to grab my kid from school and I’ll make up the hours another day. I’m talking about getting to a place of honesty where your employee can say, I’m having an event at my home and need to leave early and I’ll come in earlier that day. Let go of the guilt. I once told my manager, I didn’t feel like working today and needed a breather. I once provided 2 weeks notice for 1 day vacation and was denied and had to make it clear that this wasn’t a request; it was a notice. I was duly penalized for still taking this day and when I asked when I would have been allowed to take my legally provided vacation time, was informed ‘when they company doesn’t need me’. It was a mental note and sure enough every day needed after that remained a notice; not a request. Flex time fosters an open, positive and happy working environment. It shows your employees that you support their personal and work-related issues. It encourages social living. It also proves that you are trying to understand and manage diversity; inclusivity well. Especially in the case of religious observance, which I’ve witnessed get denied as well. I always try to advocate for a 4 day work week when I work in teams. Just to share a lil secret, I always try to take at least 2 days a month if I know I don’t have any vacation planned for the year. Another secret? I tell me manager all of this upfront, no bullshit and it is almost always well received as long as coverage is there and advance notice is given.

 

There are other financial incentives companies provide that do not mean a pay bump but alleviates living costs. Perks and incentives provided allowed me to cash in gift cards during the Christmas season so I didn’t have to spend what I didn’t have. They provided a discounted rate for insurance, attraction tickets, gym membership, computers, wellness, clothing stores etc. They provided RRSP, shares and other investment matching opportunities. A lot of people don’t ask or read too much on what companies are matching because they think of themselves just seeing a lower paycheck. In reality, what I contribute and allow my company to match is a part of my savings for the year. It is still my money, it’s just being held and more importantly allowed to grow. I worked for 8 months with a beverage company and when I resigned, I got a $800 pay out from their benefits matching program. This was $100 per month that I didn’t fully pay myself and even with taxes taken still came in clutch while unemployed. I didn’t even remember about paying into this when I left either and the notice in the mail was a welcomed reminder.

 

The final and most important measure to me is the culture. I could never thrive in an environment where everyone is unhappy. Poor management seeps into the four corners of every room and eats its employees alive. The culture should be one where you are able to shares positive and negative feedback in a respectful manner. All involved should be practical about situations or issues that occur and genuinely process all sides prior to making a decision or comment. Transparency in comments and choices is also key in maintaining morale.

If you find yourself in an environment where others are not open to training and teaching/sharing knowledge or ensures that people are given opportunities to thrive and show their skills and you find that you can’t sincerely connect with staff at all levels, then you may be in a toxic environment. As adults in the working work, you should be easy to approach and knowledgeable, the company should share visions and invite feedback to change prior to changes instead of after. They should be open to implement strategies and tools to improve processes. A company that does not pay for your well being should not be allowed to run you into the ground.

 

Employee to employee relations are crucial to operating efficiently. You are practically sharing space with these peoples for upwards of 8hrs 5 days out of every week. They don’t need to be your friends, but they need to be your allies. You need to be able to depend on and trust others at work and they need to be able to do that for you as well. Don’t be the toxic person. Stop entering work spaces thinking about yourself and that if a company wants to keep you they will kiss your ass. A lot of people enter work spaces thinking they have ownership there, you don’t even own the stationary you use every day. You are renting your time and in return, you are striving to be an efficient, productive, contributing member of a team with minimal behavioral issues. Leave your shit at the door and don a diplomatic approach to every day. On the days you just can’t fake the funk; stay home, no one wants to deal with your refusal to be a part of the synergy because at the end of the day, the work world is a major game and only the biggest bullshitters survive.

Where to work? Pt. 1

I’ve been working since I was 16 years old. I would work every summer with the government youth program. I would work for 6 weeks and at the end be given a lump sum. This meant that I would work across a lot of industries. When I migrated to Canada, I worked in the telecommunications industry mainly, the beverage market, stadium/event operations, retail and online security. My ultimate goal is the healthcare field, but a few things are slowing that goal down. Throughout my last part-time job, a few things really came to fold with what a good job entails. The amount of young people working there did not know better. They were so happy for a paycheck, they definitely didn’t realize just how bad the company was to them. It had might as well been a ‘cash job’ but I believe it had to maintain an air of sophistication due to the industry. This in part was why our uniforms made us look like officials but without any real gratification to the role. The longer I worked there the more the place seemed like a bad joke to me because management did not even make an attempt to have values or respect anyone. I had a conversation with someone who used this role as a part-time job while maintaining a full-time job with a reputable company and we confirmed the facts that made it a night and day experience.

We also both agreed that the job that paid absolutely nothing for their workers demanded so much more. It was a literal gap in our realities that confirmed that companies can do so much more but don’t intentionally. So, what makes a company decent? The obvious answer is benefits. We often act as though companies need us and should pay to keep us but do you not need the job as well? I’ve been unemployed twice and neither times found me living my best life. In fact, one instance caused me to blow through my savings and ‘rainy day’ fund. In both instances though, I learned to live on a minimal budget and a somewhat mediocre life by society’s standards. The lesson for life was that people always spend unnecessarily and way too much instead of saving. A splurge here and there resets me honestly, but gone are my days of flashing cards in the mall and adding skewers of prime meats to meals I know I won’t even be able to finish! Oh youth! Anyway, back to the topic at hand. What makes a company worthwhile? When looking for employment, ask what companies pay for their employees. Also ask, what is the culture like, how they handle feedback and manage emergencies.

 

A decent company pays for vacation days by letting you bank the hours and not pay what you accrue on your bi-weekly pay check. This is a lack of understanding for human behavior because if anything, companies manage people’s weaknesses first.  Plus, do you really put that $20 or so away every time? Most people don’t even check for it. Legal dogma if you will. As if you do take a vacation, knowing you won’t be getting a regular pay check, you worry your time away anyway.

 

They will also provide benefits if not immediately, but after a 3-month probationary period. Anything beyond that is corporate greed. It takes a lot to condition something as unpredictable as life to meet a set schedule every week, week after week. In addition, health changes and degrades as we get older. There are occupational hazards to certain jobs and working without support is very hard, not to mention when you have a family. Not to mention, a lot of insurance companies formulate benefits plans to meet company needs. You are literally able to choose what you would like covered and don’t want; essentially controlling the cost.